A Few Christmas Thoughts
Why is it still called shipping when the only two options are Ground and Air?
Stephen King: Didn't you retire?
Is ham supposed to be served cold? And is orange jello supposed to be made from Tang?
If you spend six hours in the car in one day and seven hours at the destination for that day's trip, how much is minimum wage?
What kind of day did I miss at work - more gifts shipped or returns shipped?
W.E.B. Griffin: Do you like it when people just call you Web? Because I wouldn't. And did you make your book green just so it would easily coordinate with Stephen King's red one and subliminally convince my Grandfather that the two books together = Christmas present?
Which is better - The new Bond movie or the new Rocky movie?
What kind of new year's resolutions will I actually keep? And if the answer is reliably "none," should I still make them? And if not, what should I do instead - new year's probablynotgonnadoitlutions?
Which is better - finding a twenty-dollar-bill in a library book or finding a book on how to counterfeit perfect twenty-dollar-bills in the dumpster behind the library?
How do you spell just one elf? Is it elve?
Stephen King: Didn't you retire?
Is ham supposed to be served cold? And is orange jello supposed to be made from Tang?
If you spend six hours in the car in one day and seven hours at the destination for that day's trip, how much is minimum wage?
What kind of day did I miss at work - more gifts shipped or returns shipped?
W.E.B. Griffin: Do you like it when people just call you Web? Because I wouldn't. And did you make your book green just so it would easily coordinate with Stephen King's red one and subliminally convince my Grandfather that the two books together = Christmas present?
Which is better - The new Bond movie or the new Rocky movie?
What kind of new year's resolutions will I actually keep? And if the answer is reliably "none," should I still make them? And if not, what should I do instead - new year's probablynotgonnadoitlutions?
Which is better - finding a twenty-dollar-bill in a library book or finding a book on how to counterfeit perfect twenty-dollar-bills in the dumpster behind the library?
How do you spell just one elf? Is it elve?
Labels: blog entry
3 Comments:
"Orange jello, huh. Yeah, that didn't taste good."
-Me
(After I had eaten all of said tang-flavored brick with suspended mandarine oranges.)
A single elf is elf but many elves is elves....Mr. English Major.
Shipments go by car, cargo by ship.
Don't try to understand English, just smile and nod and back away slowly.
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